What You Need to Find Out Before Deciding to Forgive a Cheating Spouse



So you’ve hired a cheating spouse investigator, and you’ve discovered that your significant other is cheating. This news can be devastating. Why did he or she cheat? How do you go on from there? Do you stay with the cheater or leave? Will you ever trust your significant other again? Do you forgive a cheater, and if you do, how will your relationship change? These are just some of the questions that may pop into your head. However, before you make a decision on what to do, there are some questions you should ask your loved one, as well as yourself, to help determine your next step and begin the recovery process.


Questions to Ask Your Cheating Spouse

  1. Are You Still Seeing the Other Person?

If your loved one cheated on you with someone in their workplace, it may be difficult for them to completely avoid that coworker. However, the question here is whether the cheating spouse is choosing to still see this person when it’s not necessary. If they are still seeing each other, it means the cheater continues to betray you, and you should probably leave.


  1. Are You in Love with Him/ Her?

This can be a difficult question for both you and the cheating spouse. He or she may not even be sure of the answer, and so getting an honest answer may be difficult. For you, hearing the answer, “yes” could deal a devastating blow, and it may be time to move on after that answer.


  1. How did this Happen? Is Something Missing in our Relationship?

Finding out what led them astray could help when you are trying to decide whether to forgive your loved one and stay, or move on. If something is missing in your relationship, is he or she willing to do whatever it takes to work on it?


  1. Do You Want Us to Work this Out?

Some spouses purposefully cheat in order to get caught and get out of a relationship. Find out if the cheater intends to leave or wants to work this out. You may also want to find out if the cheater feels guilt or remorse. However, that can be a tricky question to ask, because that’s an easy lie for the cheater to tell. You would probably have to feel that the loved one is remorseful, regardless of the answer.


  1. What if this Happens Again?

This is where your loved one needs to convince you what steps he or she is going to take to ensure this doesn’t happen again. Apologies are nice, but if he or she just keeps begging for your trust without some kind of solid plan, that should be a warning sign for you.


Questions to Ask Yourself

  1. Does He or She Deserve to be Forgiven?

If you found out they were cheating because of evidence obtained from a cheating spouse investigator, chances are your spouse did not confess until he or she was caught. There is a lot to be said about a person’s morals if that individual never came forth with the information, and if you forgive him or her now, how do you know it won’t happen again?


  1. Did this Come as a Shock, or am I Not Surprised?

Are you still in love with the cheater, or had the relationship already run its course? You’d really need to evaluate the relationship.


  1. Has He or She Been Deceitful Before?

Perhaps this may be the first time he or she was cheating, but there could have been red flags throughout the relationship. Is your spouse generally an honest person, or has your spouse displayed dishonest behavior before?

  1. Can I Deal With This and Stay?

Do you still want to be with your spouse? Does the good outweigh the bad? Even if the good does outweigh the bad, one case of infidelity can really mess up the relationship. Are you willing to make things work? Is this something you can forgive, or will you forever be throwing it back in his or her face?


There is no right or wrong answer when going through these questions. It is a very personal process. The only person you should have to justify your answers to is yourself, even if friends and family disagree.


Miami Cheating Spouse Investigator

Do you suspect that your spouse is cheating but need to prove it for sure? Maya and Maya offer a wide range of private investigation services, including cheating spouse investigations. Our operatives have 10 years experience in both domestic and civil investigations, and always keep our client’s best interest at the heart of their investigations. Contact us today for a free consultation.